Conflicted and Indecisive

So I've changed my major again...for the third time, this time I want to fulfill a childhood dream of becoming a Paleontologist. For those who don't know what that is it is someone who studies and researches dinosaur fossils. Another tid bit is that I don't think I'll be transferring schools much to my dismay. It seems yet again I'm stuck in a situation I can't get out of because I let it go on for to long. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't the worst at studying.

I didn't realize how much of a rip off Ferrum College actually was until I started looking at different career's and major's I would be good at. It came to my attention slowly but steadily that they didn't really have a wide range of majors that catered to my interests. For instance, when I first sought out change I thought well I really like singing and dancing it's a stress relief and it's something I have always worked hard on. Learning different methods and ranges. Just like dog training I was hooked onto something I actually could do and could only get better at with time.

At first I was a double major in Pre-Vet and Theater( I don't know what I was thinking at the time because that was the worst idea ever) I've no clue what I thought I was going to get out of it by having both as my major. My advisor told me that maybe I should consider pursuing Acting as my career instead. This being because not only had I admitted I wasn't the greatest at math or science but the only classes I seemed to be doing well in at the time, this was my freshman year fall semester, was my theater classes. I thought to myself maybe she's right maybe I should major in Theater I mean at least I'm good at it. So I did I changed my major and became a Theater major my grades went up just like Wayne Bowman, theater arts professor, had told me it would. I probably would have kept at it if it would for my need for approval. I've no real experience in the acting world so I looked to others for what was good or bad. Long story short on this topic in order to become a great actor/actress you must be emotionally vulnerable which I am not.

The second change came along when this nagging voice in my head said "what about your dream of becoming a vet, you've wanted to heal animals and care for them and think about all the plans that were made in the future what about the animal radicals you and any other apprentice that has gone to Margot's needs to make them go away that can't happen if your off acting and singing and what not you were going to be the best how do you even know your good at what you do they could be lying for all you know plus the other theater majors don't even like you it's a constant game of cat and mouse will they like you this day or will they gang up on you and judge no ma'am you are smarter then they are so just study more and I'm sure you'll be a vet" So I said to myself "I don't want to be a theater major anymore it's to much 50% chance of success so I want to just minor in something where all I have to do is sing and dance" ha ha to bad that doesn't exist. I thought of a way to work around it, then a brilliant idea came into my mind I'll just continue with choir and make Dance my minor. That way I can still be a Vet and still enjoy dance. To bad they don't offer Dance as a minor or major at my college. I decided I was going to become a pre-vet major with a double minor in History and Philosophy. I've always taken an interest in history and philosophy is just something I'm naturally good at. This I should have known better I loathe going to science and math especially when I know I won't understand it but I try anyway hoping it was just my imagination. No I can learn math and science I'm sure I could eventually understand however I'm not good at it. I needed to be a major in something I was good at and wasn't completely lost in. That's when I decided to look for something else I can be successful in.

Finally my third major change took quite awhile being as I wanted to major in Zoology to bad they didn't offer it as usual my college disappointed me yet again. Then I thought I could be an archeology major! I am very observant and a good analyst plus I would get to travel like I always wanted to do and make discoveries. Of course they didn't offer Geology at my college either. So I choose to make History my major and Philosophy/Biology my minors...at least they fit together this time unlike my other choices. I haven't set it up yet well classes anyway or a new advisor but it's a work in progress. I have a good feeling this is the right choice this time.

To end this extremely exhausting blog post I only have one thing to say "I just wanna be successful" by Drake

I didn't die

Just to let you know haha I didn't die or drop off the face of the earth. I just didn't have much to say, I've turned over a new leaf unless it involves dog training or animal radicals I have no real reason to post anything up. I mean looking back on it now I was venting all over my blog. Luckily our literary education is so bad that no body saw how the way I wrote my blogs, although the words were in the right place my punctuation was terrible certain words shouldn't have been capital. It made it seem as if I was illiterate, this made me feel terrible I could have sworn I only had bad penmanship =P

Now changing to a new topic I think its hysterical that I have a private dance lessons course which is pretty much like masters course. Its for dancers that are very experienced and plan to do something later on in other words Dance majors would love it. I however have very little dance experience and was not consistent with my training. Now I bet your wondering Sydney where is the funny part? Well I'll tell you I somehow managed to do everything she has asked me to do in that class, I may not do a few moves very well but I did it. I mean the only one who know's I'm not that experienced is my friend Jourdan. I'm just saying I have to have some sort of talent if I'm doing it right......that or I'm a really good mimic xD

Ellie has a new title! CD dog coming through!

I meant to put this up the day it happened haha sorry everyone. So last Friday Ellie The Munchkin aka E.T.M and I went to the Yorkshire Terrier Toy Specialty, we went with Sam and Rugby who might I add would have won H.I.T with a score of 196 if he held his sit stay (darn you Rugby) :P. Any who Ellie and I ended up getting highest scoring Yorkie with a score of 192 and first place. She officially has a CD title YAY!!!! I'm still deciding if I want to continue and put a CDX title on her, I'm definitely putting one on Max, 5 1/2month old Shih Tzu puppy, next Summer hopefully. So the pics of the ribbons and photo's of us will be up soon!

CD HERE WE COME!!! ^_^

So Ellie and I were entered in The Keystone Cluster for the Obedience ring. We arrived Friday and did a tiny bit of practice and left it at that I didn't want to touch her any further till I know how we did Saturday. I was so worried about our heeling and fronts. Needless to say Saturday in Novice A we won second place with a score of 180/200. The first place winner was a Black Russian Terrier with a score of 191. As soon as I heard who won and his score I knew who my temporary arch enemy was and that he needed to be beat I was going to get first place tomorrow she needed it no...WE needed it.
Now keep this fun fact in mind Ellie was the only toy breed in her class everyone else was a giant. In my class on Saturday was a American Stafford Terrier, Newfoundland, Giant Schnauzer,Shetland Sheepdog, Black Russian Terrier, and Doberman Pincher. They were all enormous compared to her. So when she got her first leg it only seemed fit that she wonder why all the other dogs performed so terribly inattentive. The second day after fixing a few things Ellie and I won first place with a score of 191 and second place with a score of 182 was indeed the Russian Terrier. There were still the same dogs from yesterday minus the Amstaff and adding in its place a Labrador Retriever. We have one more leg to go our final show is at the Yorkshire Terrier Specialty. I know for a fact we can get in the 190s so my goal is to try for High In Trial.

Final day of training/ Third day of class

So today was all around good mostly because just everything seemed to fall into place. I usually give a summary of something cool or interesting that happened to me that day except nothing to over interesting happened. I think I'll be just fine I just have to get used to using the POS where the orders are placed. No joke that machine makes me nervous because there is so many buttons to press and know how to work and its just so overwhelming luckily I'm still new so I only get 3 tables.

So the final day of training wasn't so bad Brian wasn't sitting at his usual table and then. Someone called me over it was Brian he was sitting at a new spot but a man was with him. I perked up because Brian was a pretty old man and reminded me of my own Hooters version of Margot haha I'm sure she'll ask me about that once I come in tomorrow. He introduced me to the older gentleman sitting with him it was the father in law and they were eating together something to do with there kids I'm not sure I don't keep track of customers lives. I took the bar test and passed I took menu test and not sure if I passed I hope I did. I start work this Sunday hopefully Saturday because I want to get paid as soon as possible haha.

Second Training Day/ Second Day of Summer Class

All around my day was pretty good with a side of average. Nothing to interesting happened except that I slowly realized how many connections and benefits to being a Hooters Girl there is. Such as some customers are millionaires or some know people that are well known voice coaches. I was off the clock talking to a customer about what he did not that I cared but its part of the job I suppose. Then he got to talking about music of course I realized he was somewhat of an amateur when he couldn't properly identify his own pitch and not his range. Any how he told me how his friend is looking for students for voice coaching and I needed one anyway so yay! Secondly I did something apparently funny in class during lecture he was talking about naming Biotic and Abiotic things I had already heard this yesterday but kept my mouth shut thinking in my head wolf and rock and was exhaling but it came out as a raspberry so they thought I was directing that towards what the professor was talking about and he thought it was funny.

The second day I realized that some of the regualars like Brian, Greg, and Shadow (Greg's Dog) are pretty awesome seeing that dog made me calm down for most of the morning because it wasn't totally human populated. I think thats why I get nervous going places that are completely boxed in with bunches of people. I've become so accustomed to only seeing 4 humans at my 1st job that if I saw more they were there to pick up their dog(s). Shadow is a Corgi/ Cattle Dog mix it isn't to bad to look at in fact its kind of cute. However do not misunderstand me I am not saying we should make more of this mix. Its more of a happy accident that just so happened to not look like an abomination upon canines :) I met some new girls today and so far I have been told by the customers I'm doing a good job as a trainee. I also realized that I'm in trouble again I need to do something task orientated I always need something to do or I will go nuts! For instance I was studying my bar guide when I noticed there were four dirty tables that weren't getting cleared off in what to me felt like 10 mins. So I started fidgeting thinking why isn't anyone taking care of this its bad representation of Hooters so I got up and marched over to all four tables and cleared them off in the quickest way I think anyone has ever seen. I say quick because it was record time I did it in 5min or less. I then run into Kate who's table I had cleared she then said "Oh wow thanks" I didn't stay long enough to hold a convo I simply said no problem. I ran into Jeff who saw me doing it all and said " I can't not do something there has got to be something I can do I need to be put to a task so your gonna love me when I start my shift" he simply laughed and continued folding the shirts.

Oh lastly before I get off and study for my last two tests. Today in Biology my professor did something funny that made me and a couple classmates laugh he chose Cannibus Sativa as another scientific term of course as soon as I saw it I knew immediately what it was so did the guy sitting next to me and the girl in front and he simply states "Marijuana" all three of us start giggling because thats how you know who smokes Hahaha. I thought it was odd out of all the other scientific formulas he could have used he chose weed. I can see he used to smoke or still does haha.

First Training Day/ First Day of Summer Class

So before I tell you guys all the interesting and wondrous things that happened today. I can just say two things occurred to me about how this week will play out. First off I don't think I'll be able to train this week being as I have training all week and I start my first shift this weekend so I won't have time to train in the morning. Its a good thing its only this week or else ha ha I wouldn't be able to work at all. Secondly I don't think anyone at Applewoods has seen me so furious before in my life I pretty much bit my friends head off for his lack of competence. I honestly had no intention of screaming bloody murder over the phone ha ha. I already had a bad start because my parents though they could pull a very unintelligent move this morning so that made me irritated then having my ride be late on my first day of training made me even more angry so I just went off roaring with flames leaking from my non existent snout.

So now that's settled my first day of work went by starting out kind of jittery and nervous. I don't just start making random conversations with people and to hold that conversation pretending to care. I also had no real idea what I was doing so it was just oh my gawd oh my gawd I don't know what I'm doing. Then eventually I caught on how to work there pretty quickly. Honestly if all I had to do was bring them there drinks and food and pay the check with occasional conversation then I would be perfect.....sadly however thats not the case we have to engage with the customer and eventually develop regulars. I'll of course have to treat it like I do with most people I am forced to talk to. Pretend to have interest in what they have to say and care about what goes on in their life. Honestly I could care less I'm here to serve you food not be your home away from home although I think thats how it works being a Hooters Girl I mean. My trainer Sara is really nice and the girls I met today are nice as well I like them however I question there common sense intellect. All together I learned pretty fast how things work around there. I think I'll be okay if I just do what Jeff (general manage)told me "Who ever you are outside this building gets left behind once you walk through that door"

Finally my first day of class at PGCC it started out pretty well I ran into my friend Amaedi and Margot if your reading this then haha no I didn't ask what she is doing major wise I forgot. We chatted before our classes started. My professor for the day (she was a temp) made me love how I finally realized how smart I was because some of the questions she asked I already knew and when I answered them she gave me a look of shush I don't want you to answer it that way. Also I've already been labeled as a hypocrite future vet. It all started with me giving an honest logical answer with no emotions attached. She asked what would happen to the squirrel if you cut down the tree it lived in now keep in mind she said one tree just one. Not two not a hundred but one so I said very honestly and bluntly "Ummm the squirrel will look for another tree" I suppose the way I answered it should have been more sensitive concerning myself with this squirrel's personal problems. It slowly occurred to my professor that I didn't particularly care for squirrels I didn't tell her the back story. All I said was that they were jerks and they started it first! Then it pretty much was a short battle of the smarts I however decided to back out from time to time so I don't seem like a total bitch. I say this because my original debate was with an older woman I had a counter answer to everything she said. This I've come to learn pisses a lot of people off...sucks for them ha ha. Thats all for today ciao!