Why can't I care anymore?

"When I was a little girl, my mother would remind me each night before bed, to open up my heart to God, for He was kind, merciful, and just. Things changed when my father left a few years later, leaving her to raise me and my brothers in a place on the edge of the Mojave Desert. She never talked of a kind and merciful God again. Instead she spoke of a prophecy. Of a time when all the world would be covered in darkness and the fate of mankind would be decided. One night, I finally got the courage to ask my mother why God had changed, why He was so mad at His children. "I don't know," she said, tucking the covers around me, "I guess He just got tired of all the bullshit."" -Charlie, Legion

That quote has been rolling in my mind ever since I saw the movie, now keep in mind I saw this movie months ago and by months I mean September. For those who don't know that's the month I was born which should obviously imply that it's my birthday month. It is also the time I realized my ex boyfriend was a bullshiter and an egotistical wimp but who's dwelling on the past. This was also the time I realized I couldn't be a Veterinarian I only wanted it as a passion but I didn't have the smarts to fully understand it (or maybe I didn't study hard enough) I knew what I wanted and I knew what I would be good at and I knew that I couldn't just wish it and it be true. I didn't want to go to school I didn't want to read books for the rest of my life. I didn't want to have my parents or myself to pay thousands of dollars for me to learn how to do work. The end result for all of us is no matter how much schooling we do it all ends with us being in a way pencil pushers. I didn't want that I wanted to go on adventures and make discoveries in other countries, ha even invent things to better my findings and if it happened maybe help man kind although I doubt I would because sometimes I feel like they don't deserve to be better then any other species. What makes us so much better then the rest of the creatures out there. Then it occurred to me in one swift moment that I just didn't care about school or at least this one aka Ferrum College. It's like I've lost all interest in learning that's when I decided to be an Archeology major but it's hard to start when you don't have a blank slate. Part of me feels I should have taken a semester off but if I did none of the people I know now nor the things I've learned thus far would have happened. In a way I'm glad. To wrap it all up in a way the cause of my downfall has to do with the fact that well....I just got tired of all the bullshit

CJ and the Waving Flag

I'm beyond excited for this new and short project, my friend Orlando just got a new 4 month old mutt. I say mutt because it's a mix breed although to be honest I prefer to call him a mutt I don't care how adorable he is :P. From what I've gathered he should be fun to train. Full of energy and curiosity I don't think I can say much for his intelligence like most puppies it's the size of a gnat right now. I'm getting my mom to pick up my training gear from Applewoods tomorrow morning and she is going to mail it to me so I can start CJs training as soon as possible. To be honest I would take him back and train him myself but he just wants pet dog training which I can give to him but the long and short of it is unfortunately it's only temporary. It's only puppy obedience training after it wasn't meant to last a long time haha.

The second topic of this article has to do with the fact that my motivational song is called Waving Flag by K'naan there is a specific part in the song that I favor "When I grow older I will be stronger, they'll call me Freedom just like the waving flag" it reminds me that I'll be great one day and be able to do what I will within society's ever straining rules.
http://listen.grooveshark.com/s/Waving+Flag/3y2pdi?src=5